I had no intention of ever becoming a hermit – if that’s what this all is. In fact, I was quite the social butterfly right up until Covid.
Now, out here – on the other side of the pandemic – I’m quite comfortable with my latest hobby of staying away from the hustle and bustle.
And so are my kids.
Now, let’s not get weird here – I don’t just stay in my house – I go places: food shopping, the movies, the library, out for the occasional pint, and definitely hiking and exploring in the local woods. I just stay out of the major social scenes – and try to hit places up at off-peak times.
It’s amazing.
First off, I haven’t gotten Covid yet. Neither have the kids. I probably will and when I do, I do. But until then, my efforts in retracting from the public eye have paid off.
Secondly, by default – I avoid temptation. I don’t overdo it: drinking, eating, buying things, etc. All of the social expectations of a participating member of modern, American society does – and I’ve been doing – I hardly do.
BUT, when I do, I appreciate it because it’s the exception and not the norm.
I know it’ll be rewarding when I do dip my life back into those bigger settings – but even so, I really haven’t and the drive to do so hasn’t kicked back in.
The mad rush of life just isn’t part of life anymore. And in it, I have found that not only do we get to do more stuff, but we enjoy the fine details of the things we do.
Lost in the minutiae.
Enjoying the ether…
Case and point: in the last two weeks alone, we’ve stayed home – acclimating the new kitten, picking wineberries, running around until the sun goes down, and even then only pausing to see the bats dance across the sky – then we pick it up again for a little while – usually until a mosquito bites one of us in the face, or we hear something rumbling off in the woods and it spooks us enough to kick rocks back into the house, where we tell stories to one another to help us fall asleep in bed.
Or play Roblox together until we can’t see straight.
I will say that all of this makes you feel like you’re one step behind when you get out into a social circle. As if all of the observing I’m doing when I am out and about takes the edge off my known ability of wit and humor.
Don’t get me wrong, I am still me.
I am just a more laid-back and observant me.
I am in tune – I see and hear more. I’m enjoying conversations more. There’s more laughter. And I have the time to digest and take on more if I want to. Sometimes I don’t even get dressed unless I have a meeting for work – or plan on going out somewhere.
I’ve even invested in more lounging shorts and tank tops.
As for the impact on the kids, they’re getting to be kids without the glow of a screen taking over their day. Yes, there’s still plenty of screentime (there has to be if they want to keep up in school), but it’s balanced with catching bugs, watering plants, and applying their limitless imaginations to the shapes of clouds.
They aren’t over-stimulated anymore and I think it helps them approach their little lives with more of an open mind; where they get to process things and toil over things and all of that makes every experience that much more fulfilling.
I have also instituted an hour of free time – every day – where I read, and the girls either read, color, play with clay, or – yes – play on their tablets. It’s 60 minutes of time where there’s nothing to do but whatever you want to do – and it’s wicked refreshing.
I’ve read more books this summer than I have since college.
Now work.
You might say “well dude, you still have to work and all this kumbaya shit doesn’t apply to those eight hours a day.”
Wrong. It actually does.
Being more laid back and observant allows me to compartmentalize projects better and set a more even-keeled pace. I find that I am more eager to take the extra step to get the project past the goal line.
Additionally, this approach has allowed me to let more things roll off my shoulder easier. I realize that I can only be held responsible for the things I am responsible for and that I had been enabling some people to slack off. All of that made me bitter and I found myself approaching work as a lone soldier instead of a teammate.
This might sound easy because I work from home – but if it’s so easy, why haven’t I been doing it? Why was I approaching everything like a firestorm?
All in all – this is my summer of Zen. And it’s the summer the girls will remember where we avoided the hustle and bustle and the quality of our experiences was way meatier.
It’s all been organic and gradual. I didn’t force this change on myself or the girls, I simply accepted it and adapted to it – added to it where I saw room for improvement, took from it where I saw things going off course.
None of this was planned. And for that, I am forever grateful for recognizing this whole movement for what it is and that the girls were up for it as well.
Deep Sigh…
We – as people – are forever changing. We have to. It’s what keeps us putting one foot in front of another. Looking back, just in writing this, I don’t think I am alone in this shift in life. I think a lot of folks found out that they could slow down and in it, they saw more colors, found more words, and things made more sense.
I think a lot of people realized that they were over-complicating their day-to-day and they didn’t need to. So, when they started to pull back a little and saw – like me – that they were just as fulfilled, they saw no reason to go back.
They liked slowing down.
I liked slowing down.
I’d like to stay here for a while.
Tribe Of Flannel 