Initially, I didn’t pay much attention to this picture. But, last night, as I was recapping my adventures to my girls, I noticed the sun. I noticed the winter common palette of color. I noted it’s contrast. I noticed how different this landscape was from where I usually was.
The carpeting of pine needles… The abundance of deadfall.. The cold tapping on my face…
I’m always out in the woods.. But it was my first time in these woods..
Goes to show how different things are, even in proximity. As this is just one a couple of towns over – and towns and cities in Connecticut aren’t large, by comparison.
And yet it was completely different.
Goes to show that this just wasn’t a random picture of my truck parked near a trailhead that I’ve never passed through before – but an inspiration.
Suffice to say, even after all the miles I’ve put into different places, it’s still important to pay attention to the changes and try and keep up.
Anyway.
Note: I am a constant traveler of Ragged Mountain Memorial Preserve in Berlin, CT. This moment was captured (and now reflected upon) at the Northern Section section of Cockaponset State Forest. The two are similar, but different. It’s a bit of a mix-up that I haven’t wholly figured out; as this forest is everywhere out here in the Connecticut River Valley and Ragged Mountain is “merely” a preserve. Both are excellent escapes. The former may be my home away from home, but the latter beckons more of my attention.
Life in the outdoors is something I embrace and enjoy – but living in the outdoors is a whole other thing; which I would probably embrace and enjoy.
I mean – I’ve touched the void; camping, roughing it – but to commit my life to it seems like it could only be a dream.
That said, my good friend John shared this story with me yesterday, and it’s so much more than what you would imagine it would be. Which is why I feel compelled to share it with anyone who stumbles upon this.
Yes, on the surface, it’s a beautiful story about a couple of people roughing out their life in the wilderness of Alaska – but woven within the adventure, and the amazing scenery, is a story about love and being in a relationship where you rely on one another.
Some of the things Jean says, we all need to hear. This isn’t a chance occasion where two people cared about one another and went camping – this is their life, day to day, and her way of explaining it should be an eye-opener for most folks.
But don’t take my word for it – please, in your time – for your soul, check it out.
For those of you who like to read: Click Here For those of you who like video & stunning landscapes: Click Here
I’ve only watched about half of the documentary, but I am moved – and it is followed up with a sequel called “Arctic Son” . So, I feel like the lives of these people are going to inspire me a little longer than anticipated.
Thanks for sharing your amazing story, Jean. At the time of writing – I can’t wait to learn more about you and your family.
If you want to learn more about Jean Aspen and her incredible story, head right to the source: https://www.jeanaspen.com/
Music is the best form of communication on the planet. But the trick to music is listening to it – and being in the right place and time to be able to listen to it.
Generally, we just hear music – it fills in random voids in the background. But when we listen to it – it’s everything: the scenery, the mood, the source of the moment.
Music has been used, since inception, to send messages. It’s been used to tell stories, used to celebrate life or to say goodbye to it, and it’s been widely seen as being therapeutic.
Music is magic and has been used for magic. Some people use it to make it rain, others use it to get out of bed. And some use it so they don’t get lonely when their kids are at their mother’s house.
This is probably something that has evolved through evolution, but – suffice to say – we’re hard-wired to respond to music. We even had a factory installed sensation called “frisson” which is our psychological response to music that comes in a form of elation or chills.
When frisson hits, it’s because we’re listening. We’re responding in our own way and gleaning from it what we need.
During that sensational sensation, we interpret lyrics and vacillations in sound because they resonate with where we are; in the moment. This is why you can be listening to music for hours and not really hear it – and then it randomly catches you off guard and you subconsciously react which could become an overt reaction if its a real banger.
Essentially, frisson signifies that we’re tuned in and turned on – AND – depending how submerged you get in it, the music in those moments can change your mood, your day, etc..
I’ve used music to help me understand my feelings for years. I’ve used lyrics to help other people understand me or how I feel, for years. Lyrics are either written to the music or the music is written to them – but either way, they complement one another and that syncopation is appealing to us on many levels.
… It’s all about the flow.
Sometimes it’s hard to get your point across, but when you find the right words, within the right music, you’re success rate in hitting your mark intensifies exponentially. Music allows us to tell our secrets – it’s our amplifier.
Most of the good stuff out there – the catchy stuff that you listen to over and over again – is the artist’s way of telling the listener how they feel. We can relate, so we’re receptive to it when the stars align and we find ourselves listening.
I would recommend to anyone out there, to get themselves involved with a good music service and a couple of radio stations – that match their personality – and just let those things drive you for a while.
Spotify has the uncanny ability of following the pattern of the music you are listening to and complementing it with recommended songs. It’s a great way to keep your head on straight – and also a great way to expand your musical catalog.
Let the music guide you through life; the deeper you are – the deeper it’ll hit you.
The universe relies on pings in order to stay in motion; balanced in its greatness – floating along with us inside – causing a commotion.
We are a primary source of pings and everything we do has a cause and effect. We are ripples and we are waves. And though we, alone, may not be significant enough to really shift things around – we, the many – can really fuck things up terrifically.
Hence the ripples and waves comment.
And there’s really no map to how we go about it – any of it – the day to day. There’s no instruction manual either – there is just being and doing; and the hope that we find a soft spot to land when we leap outside of the norm.
That said…
Sometimes you really do need to put yourself out there without a net – say the things you need to say and do the things you need to do. Stand out in the crowd and buck the balance for your betterment. You alone won’t cause a cataclysmic change in the grand scheme of things – but you sure can get the ball rolling.
Amirite?
Sure you need to keep a couple of nuggets tight to your chest so you can sleep better at night – but anything that gnaws at you really needs to get out into the open so you can see all the sides of it.
Inspect the shit out of it – overthink it – try and spin it around so it’ll fit into a specific mold. Maybe even make a new mold; if you have time.
And keep in mind that each one of us is different – we all have unique requirements and conditions. So, mind your audience before you overshare. Missing your mark could change everything. Maybe not for you; maybe only for you – in moments of chaos, you can’t predict the outcome.
But don’t be deterred.
In order to keep this thing going, be willing to take risks – be willing to put yourself out there in the most uncomfortable of ways.
Be willing to be yourself. Be willing to take chances.
Stoke the flame. Keep kindling in your pockets and never let your fire go out. That way people will stick around…
And if you get knocked down? Well, hell – get back up… That’s half the fun.
Growing up in the 1980’s – Harrison Ford quickly solidified his role in my life as something of a father figure, if not as someone I wanted to aspire to be like. But really, if I’m really being real – I wanted to be Indiana Jones; not Harrison Ford.
My older brother even gave me the hat – the actual, official, Indiana Jones hat.
And where that persona has blossomed into part of who I am today – in terms of being intrigued by adventure and the daydreams of landing some crunchy punches on Nazi Supervillains – it turns out that Harrison, himself – is a bit of a salty dog.
In interview after interview, he seems particularly jaded with the roles who made him who he is, and with people in general.
However, in this particular interview with Jimmy Fallon – where he’s just as disenfranchised as usual – he breaks “character” when talking about the loss of Peter Mayhew, who made a career of playing Chewbacca and lived his life being a gentle giant.
This whole interview is worth the watch. But when Ford’s eyes well-up around 3:58, mine do too.
The birds in my backyard, in winter, are magical. I don’t mean that there are some weird Harry Potter birds soaring around back there – but for what’s showing up at my bird feeder, the amount of them, and the way they work together – it has to be magic; unless birds are way more sophisticated than we’ve always assumed?
And they are. So it’s not magic.
Yeah, I’m kind of bummed out too. I thought that I was seeing some secret force at work – but that’s a silly human thought. Turns out birds really do have some sort of social hierarchy system in place – one that might be the basis for the term “pecking order”.
Anyway. Enough about the official stuff – let me tell you what I see out my kitchen window; what stops me in my tracks and has me staring out into the woods as if I was frozen in time:
NuthatchBlack Capped Chickadee
The Nuthatches show up first; generally right after the sun comes up. They hit the feeder as the front line and will continue to ping that feeder to see if the other creatures about – including myself and the cat – are there to compromise the mission.
Depending on the day, these Nuthatches may be joined by Black-Capped Chickadees. There’s no real schedule to when they come around – I think they just stop by if they’re in the area. Today they are here and they brought all their friends – flying through the air like dolphins swim through water; that repetitive swoop-swoop.
Male Blue Jay (the female has a better hairdo)
Once it’s confirmed that I’m just here to watch in awe, and the cat can’t get through the glass, the Blue Jays show up. First the females – then the males. And then they take right off. They may hit the feeder once or twice, but then they are gone – and I mean out of sight; back into the thick of the woods.
Male Cardinal
It’s around this time that the male Cardinals make their presence known. But they’re here to observe – like fluffy, vibrant red centurions sitting stoically on branches that shouldn’t be able to hold their heft. At the beginning of winter, there was only one male and one female Cardinal in the yard, but in the few weeks since, that number has more than quadrupled.
Song Sparrow
Then the Song Sparrows arrive. They’re slight and bold and will stay at the feeder to crack the shells off of anything in the dish that has a shell around it. If I’m not paying attention, they’re generally what clues me into the action – as you can hear them tap-tap-tapping the shells open. They also could care less who’s on the other side of the glass.
Tufted Titmouse
Sometimes, but not all the time – this is where the Tufted Titmouse joins the party. Like the Song Sparrows, they are bold and will hang around the edge of the feeder and crack shells. They aren’t as bold as the Song Sparrows, however – and take off once they realize there’s someone on the other side of the glass.
Because they’re so brazen, the Nuthatches and Chickadees tend to come back for another round of feeding while the Song Sparrows are on guard; as if the Sparrows are going to defend them against a greater force.
All of this happens in the span of a fifteen to twenty minutes – and it goes without saying; the more food the merrier. But this isn’t the end of the show. After everyone else eats and makes sure the coast is clear; the Queen takes the stage:
Enter the female Cardinal…
The Queen
She may actually be made of magic and mystery – because it’s insanely difficult to explain her coloring and do it justice: a mix of tan and grey with a yellow breast – splashed with red on her wings and under her tail feathers. She’s smaller than her old man, but they’re both robust – and it’s more than obvious that she’s the boss.
In fact, he – the male Cardinal – never comes to the feeder. He watches. He waits. He makes sure everyone eats and is safe. He eats seeds off the ground. But it’s totally obvious that it’s the female that calls the shots in their household and kingdom – for once she flies away – they’re all gone again…
A little bit about birds and all this bird business: I am not a bird watcher at heart. I have always been fascinated by birds and have kept a running tally of what I have seen over time, but I get all of my info from:
A service offered through Cornell University, The Cornell Lab Of Ornithology is an informative nucleus of information which includes an expanded database of birds throughout the world. Their app, Merlin Bird ID can be downloaded on your phone and deployed instantly for your next bird watching adventure.
All of the pictures of these birds come from The Cornell Lab Of Ornithology and should be considered their property.
I haven’t really reflected on 2020 because it was one of the strangest years on memory. But it wasn’t bad. Not entirely. So I can’t complain…
Thing is, we were all involved – not one of us could avoid it. So many things got rolled into one and were dropped on us when we least expected it. If you weren’t paying attention, you could have gotten knocked right over only to get back up to get knocked over again.
But I have to say, 2020 was mostly good to me. As the pace of life slowed down, I was able to see myself for who I am and get back to being that guy. So I can’t complain during a time when everyone has something to complain about.
Then again, 2017-2019 we’re really rough on me – while most of you had good years, so if I even considered to feel guilty about the 2020 I experienced, it’s only so deep.
I hardly came out of this whole thing unscathed. 2020 brought it’s share of deep cuts; things that either hit really hard and moved on, things that had a ripple effect, or things that are still happening.
I’m just dealing with it all with more of an open mind.
That said – when my kids come to me and say “I’m having a horrible day”. I ask them, “well, is it the whole day – or was there some point where you laughed or smiled?” and then they laugh and smile – realizing that it’s not the whole day – just bits and pieces of it.
So, when you’re thinking about 2020 – just remember, even if it got really dark – even if you lost something or someone that you can never get back – there were better days; there will be better days. You just need to hold on and hope – you need to pay attention to the details and look for the signs.
After all – you made it; you’re still here – you might not be okay, and that’s okay. Reach out and find the love and positivity you need. Turn over every rock and look in every nook and cranny if you have to – just keep living.
And remember – as weird as everything is – we’re all in it and we’re all getting through it. It’s a crooked piece of time that we’re living in, but there’s still rainbows so – chin up! Foot forward! It might not be great, but you’re going to get through this one way or another.
When we all used to go see live music, live and in person, I challenged myself to capture the setlist as the show was happening. It’s a common practice – and it’s wicked fun.
Case and point: right now my mind is ripe with memories from that night. Fond, happy memories with a hint of haze…
Seems fitting to start off with this banger, seeing that Coals Pizza – which is the goto place for excellent pizza and craft beer – shut its doors in Port Chester for the last time, last night.
Anyway – I’ll post whatever I find in my archives here – as well as any accompanying links to the music, if available.
– Ragged, 12.31.2020
Phil & Friends – 11.15.12 – Capitol Theatre, Port Chester NY
SetOne Jack Straw 1/2 Step Caution Jam Crazy Fingers He’s Gone Cold Rain & Snow Ship of Fools Mason’s Children
Set Two Dear Mr. Fantasy Help On The Way Viola Jam Alligator The Eleven Standing on the Moon Uncle John’s Band Slipknot Franklin’s Tower
Encore Donor Rap Box of Rain
Show End: 12:01am
Phil Lesh – Bass, Vocals Jackie Green – Guitar, Vocals, Keys John Kadlecik – Guitar, Vocals Joe Russo – Drumms Adam MacDougall – Keys
Note on MacDougall: In Jeff Chimetti’s departure to fill in for Rob Barraco in Dark Star Orchestra, Adam MacDougall took over on keys. He’s a heavy Hammond B3 fan, who played in the Black Crowes and most recently in “Chris Robinson Brotherhood”. This guys lives to jam.
Tribe Of Flannel 